Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Singapore's sixth sense

“Please sit to be waited”.
The writing was on the menu. What else did you expect? “Please wait to be seated”?
Actually, that is exactly what I expected and the sudden turn of words caught my attention. I looked around to see what it was.
The Insanity Restaurant.
Ah! That felt like home. It was by the riverside (or rather canalside) in Clark Quay, a throbbing drinking/eating joint where the music never stops and the beer flows like water.
On an earlier trip to Singapore, I had noticed a syringe in the public loo at Clark Quay and was determined to find more interesting things. In Singapore, drub peddling is punishable by death. Everything else is punishable by a debilitating fine. Pressing the emergency button in a train without an emergency attracts a fine of $5000 (Singapore). That’s roughly Rs 1.6 lakh. I guess that’s why there's no nuisance in Singapore. There is an amazing amount of freedom that the government allows provided people behave. You could buy a six-pack of beer from 7/11 (which is open 24 hours in Singapore. Somehow defeats the 7 am-11 pm concept the stores are named after) and park yourself on the retaining wall of the river (oops, canal). As long as you don’t bother anybody, nobody bothers you.
So there I was. Trying to find things more interesting than syringes in Clark Quay while music was blaring from all sorts of pubs/restaurants. (There’s one called The Clinic. Wheelchairs double up as chairs. Operating tables serve as, well, tables.) It so happened that an Indian fellow talking loudly on his cell (as most Indians do) was walking ahead of me. There was this girl standing in a corner, dressed very casually. The moment she saw this loud Indian, her arms arched back and she was trying to tie her hair into a bun. Well, that wasn’t her primary intention but I don’t want to be too graphic. She asked the loud Indian something, he refused and she looked sullen. She turned to me and, I must admit, I turned red. She was a fairly attractive girl who looked more Indian than a Singaporean. She asked me if there was something she could do for me.
“I’m looking for a taxi,” I said.
Her eyes brightened.
“I’m going home,” I said. Actually, it sounded more like “Mama, I’m coming home” to me but I guess she got the point. She quickly turned and started talking to another man who was headed that way.
I hurried back towards the Insanity Restaurant. Just as I turned a corner, there was a heavily made-up girl.
“Hello,” she said.
“Hi! How are you?” I asked.
“Where would like to go tonight?”
The girl was pretty blunt, I must admit. But it sounded too much like Bill Gates’ “where would you like to go today?”
“Home?” I asked of her, sheepishly.
She didn’t even bother to respond.
I had my two pints of beer and while I was heading towards the taxi stand, I saw both the girls standing together, still looking for customers.
Today, I realize why Singapore is much ahead of us. Those guys knew then (in August) that a major downturn was coming (no pun intended!).